Serious Stuff

Over these seven months I've been highlighting nothing but the best of an exchange year. However, like any exchange student I've talked to, I have had problems. Sometimes, I feel exchange programs aren't completely honest with future exchange students when it comes to these problems: I've often heard volunteers pigeonhole exchange students, rolling their eyes at mistakes or weaknesses of "bad" exchange students. Problems just arise for some exchange students regardless of how hard they try to be a good exchange student. They certainly did for me:

A few months ago I changed host families, ending a long string of unfortunate events: I broke up with my boyfriend, had a friend in the US die, got horrible, month-long insomnia and food poisoning out the wazoo, and lost a disturbing amount of weight. A lot of this was linked to or made worse by my mismatched placement. They were nice, but too busy and too shy. When I was homesick or grieving, they didn't really know what to do. We ended up with communication issues, I didn't feel like part of the family, but most of all I didn't feel like I was learning. Anyway, I'd like to give some advice about how to avoid problems like mine:

Understand the nature of the relationship: A host family is most like a dating relationship

1. You can't get rid of your real family, but you can break up with your host family. It may sound bad, but when you are in a bad host family you can and should get out of it for the sake of your experience. Don't worry about too much about offending them, just treat them as you would a boyfriend or girlfriend that just isn't right for you.

2. You didn't grow up with yout host fanily, you have to learn to bond with them, just like a boyfriend/girlfriend. If you don't find anything in common, you will just have to break up. It reminds me of a stereotypical reason to end a dating relationship: We just didn't have much in common.

3. Don't treat your host family like your roommates; roommates are friends, but host families and boyfriends/girlfriends are more. As a result, both host family relationships and dating relationships require a lot more effort than roommate relationships.

As a result, a the ideal relationship with a host family should follow a similar pattern: intrigue (usually when you first read about your placement) romance (when you first arrive until about 1 to 3 months in. Both parties exchange gifts and are on their best behavior for the other because they want to get along. Hopefully, a little bonding occurs) problems (around one to three months you start noticing annoying things) solutions after working through what issues you have, you get to know your host family better and vise versa. You have bonded completely, congrats on your new family).Unfortunately, mine didn't quite go that way: the intrigue and the problems were there, but the romance was pained and the solutions never really worked.

Exchange Students
1. When your exchange program interviews you, mention that you would like to be placed in a family thats not too busy and would like to travel/sightsee with you. Why? A busy family won't have the time to talk with you and teach you about their culture. You'll find yourself alone, waiting for someone to get home, but ultimately resorting to reading, watching TV or going on Facebook. However, a family that really wants to take you travelling/sightseeing is one that will make time to teach you about the country, and in a hands-on way. For me (and I think a lot of other people), homesickness comes from boredom, so how can you get too homesick if you are zipping through your host country? A family like this is especially good for a program like AFS that doesn't plan much travelling. Not to mention, long road trips are a great way to bond, swap stories, make up songs, and laugh at the dog riding a motorcycle you passed a few minutes ago. (ok well the last one might only apply to Indonesia haha)
2. Spend as little time in your room as possible. While I disagree with AFS's guidelines on the computer (an hour a week) because most exchange students have important things to do on the computer (including socializing and planning with students in your host country), I still think its important to not ignore your host family. You should take all activities (including computer work) to the living room.
3. Skype your home country when your host family is asleep but please don't wake them up. Because Skype is private, make sure you go on at a time that you aren't ignoring your family. I wake up at 4 am to Skype the US...my American friends now have some not-too-flattering, half-asleep Skype screen shots of me, but its worth it if its means I'm not ditching my host family during our weekly Glee-watching session.
4. Tell your family about everything you are doing. If you are reading a book, tell them about it. If you are crocheting a blanket, tell them about it. If you have crouching-over diarrhea and food poisoning, tell them about it (hopefully they won't feed you charcoal pills like they did me haha). Its a great way for your host family to get to know you when you may not have much in common at first. This is also a good way to use Facebook to your advantage--show them pictures of your home country and compare. Afraid to use your native language, but still don't know what to say in your host language? Just ask what the thing you are doing is called in your host language. For example, next time you are out and about and get food poisoning, ask your family "How do I say 'I think I have Salmonella and need to find a bathroom now' in your language?" It's certainly a conversation starter.
5. Thoroughly research exchange programs before choosing one. Stalk a returnee! Its easy to find former exchange students via facebook (just go to any program's facebook page and see who joined), and most will be willing to add you if you send them a message explaining that you are planning on studying abroad. Ask them about how their chapter runs, any problems they ran into, how their program handled it, and any else unique to their program. Be aware that in some programs you stay with one family for a year (AFS) and in some you change families (rotary club). Get information to decide which is best for you. You'll find a lot of strange information out this way that you won't through the program, like that Rotary Club Indonesia doesn't really check out their host families before placing students, that AFS Bandung is run by busy college students or that AFS Japan is very strict. Not to mention, you'll make friends worldwide who might let you crash with them if you ever travel to their home country.

Host families
1. Take your exchange student everywhere. take them travelling, take them around town, take them grocery shopping, take them to work (don't take them with you to the bathroom though). Any place is better than leaving them home alone.
2.Never say "it's okay, just use English" At the beginning it will be difficult to communicate, but if you start off in English, it will be very difficult to switch to your native language later. ALWAYS start with your native language. If they don't understand, speak slower, clearer and use over-the-top gestures, if that doesn't work, rephrase what you just said and keep using gestures. Still not working? Use bigger gestures, pictures and rephrase yourself again. Only use English as a last resort and never tell your exchange student its okay to use their native language or English (unless, of course, you live in an English-speaking country)
3. Talk as much as possible Often, exchange students can understand more than they can speak, especially if people talk directly to them. So, its best if you start the conversation rather than waiting for them to start it. Talk about anything: what you are doing, what your plans are, your hometown, your first boyfriend, your most embarrassing experience, your summer working at Disney World, your parents' life as rice farmers, your favorite type of toilet, the number of times you bathe in a week....the list goes on. Ask them about their home country to get them speaking. Another reason I say to take your exchange student everywhere is because you can point out culture in progress rather than describing it from the house. The more discussion topics you can think of, the better.

Annoying Questions

I know its been a very long time since I last posted, so I thought I'd start off with a funny post about the most annoying questions Indonesians ask.

1. Can I take a photo with you?
If you are white and live in Indonesia, you hear this a lot. Indonesians love to take photos. Indonesians love to interact with exotic, white foreigners. Naturally Indonesians want combine these two loves by documenting every close encounter of the Bule kind with their cameras. Imagine all the harassment of celebrity without all that pesky fame. Some days you just feel like pretending you don't speak English or Indonesian. Next time I think I will try "je ne comprend pas."

2. Where have you been in Bandung?
This question is annoyingly open-ended. I've lived in Indonesia for other six months, do they really expect me to rattle off every place I've been? Usually I just answer banyak tempat (many places) or say I've been to Tangkuban Perahu (Bandung's nearest active volcano, one of the main tourist attractions) and all of Bandung's many malls.

3. What is your favorite food in Indonesia?/What Indonesian food have you tried?
The main reason I find these questions annoying is just because I hear them whenever I meet someone knew and in every interview. It doesn't matter what setting or occasion, someone will ask that. Its usually the third question an Indonesian asks you when you meet them (right after "Where are you from?" and "How long have you been here?"). The latter question especially bothers me because its also extremely open-ended and even a little insulting: after 6 months do they assume I've only had enough Indonesian food to put on short list? I eat it everyday >:(

4. How about.....?
I've discovered a big flaw in the way Indonesians are taught English: Teachers don't distinguish that "how about...." is a follow up question and not a leading one. As a result, I'm stuck puzzling the meanings of like "How about the USA?" or "How about your mother?" HELP ME! WHAT ABOUT THEM?! I REALLY DON'T KNOW!

5. Why do like Indonesia?
Indonesians are generally up-beat, optimistic people, but occasionally you'll get a pessimistic one. These are the people who ask me this rare follow up question to "why did you choose to come to Indonesia?" There is a lot to love about this country and its frustrating to have to explain it all to someone who has experienced it all their life. Indonesia may be crowded, dirty and smelly (and a bit corrupt), but its still beautiful, has great weather, tons to do, and low crime. I wish I could say the same for Detroit...

6. Aren't you afraid of terrorists?
Ugh. Just ugh. This question, along with its buddy, "What do you think of Muslims in Indonesia," just pisses me off (sorry, that's very unprofessional for me to say). The reason Indonesians ask is because the Indian movie, My Name is Khan, is very popular here. Its a good movie, but causes some problems for an Indonesian audience made up mostly of people who haven't lived the US. Indonesians often ask me if the US is "really like My Name is Khan" and I think thats where they get the stereotype that Americans are anti-muslim. Anyway, NOT ALL AMERICANS HATE MUSLIMS! I will admit there are a few who do, but they represent a small segment of Americans, not the majority. I'd also just like to say that thinking all/most Americans hate Muslims because a small portion do is just as bad as thinking that all Muslims are terrorists because a small portion of them are.


7. Are you going to Church on Sunday?
I'm not Christian. I'm not Muslim. I'm not atheist. I'm agnostic. This one is not so much annoying as it is awkward and confusing. Indonesia is a deeply religious country, and to many Indonesians, not having a religion is just not in their paradigm*. Usually this question leads to a frustrating, broken conversation about how I don't pray, I'm not looking for a religion and neither believe in a God nor believe God doesn't exist. I just don't have the vocabulary yet to explain these things in my second language.

8. Are there beggars in the US?
Unfortunately, the US does not have all the answers and its not the pristine country its sometimes made out to be. There are people just as poor in the US as the beggars of Indonesia. I guess the only reason this question bothers me is because it shows how much Indonesians put the US on a pedestal. I wish they could see the US in a more realistic light.

9. Do you have a boyfriend?
You know this question doesn't lead anywhere nice. One of the "joys" of being a white girl in Indonesia is this question on a twice-weekly basis.

Do you have a boyfriend in Indonesia?
*facepalms* Why should this matter? I have a boyfriend and even though he lives in the US, I refuse to cheat on him in Indonesia.

Anyway. After my rant, I figure I should lighten the mood a little with some a question I wish more people would ask:

What is your favorite word in Indonesian?
Instead of the open-ended "What do you know in Bahasa," I'd love to hear this alternative.. My favorite word means "butterflies." The word for "butterfly" (singular) in Indonesian is kupu-kupu. The way you pluralize words in Indonesian is to repeat them. Can you see where this is going? The word for "butterflies" (plural) is Kupu-kupu-kupu-kupu. can you say that word 5 times without loosing count?

*Sometimes when I tell people I don't have a religion they ask me "then how do you pray?"

Kerupuk Blogger

Ever noticed how British people seem to call anything "pudding?" "Pudding" for them can be anything from your iconic tapioca pudding to black and white pudding, which is actually sausage, or spotted dick, which is more like fruit cake. Well Indonesians have a similarly all-encompassing food word: Kerupuk. The word "Kerupuk" refers to a cracker or chip, and while it doesn't quite cover as much as "pudding" does for the British, it covers everything from styrofoamy white things that look like funnel cake, to tiny star-shaped chips with colorful edges. You have certain types with noodles, others with porridge, and some you just snack on when you are bored.

Anyway, I thought Kerupuk would be a good subject to start off my entry on Indonesian food. My favorite Kerupuk is something you often see in Thai restaurants in the US. In the US, you are served these pastel colored chips in a basket as you sit down at a booth in your favorite, air conditioned Thai restaurant. They feel kind of greasy, and when you put one on your tongue, and it sticks to it like its gripping your taste buds with little hands. When you ask the waiter what you are eating, he responds "shrimp chips." funny. They don't taste fishy.

In Indonesia, however, you get these when you sit in an open air Rumah Makan, which is a food stall plus benches, a table, and a tarp around the place to shield you from the sun and advertise their food. This time you get these chips sprinkled on top of your chicken porridge or gado-gado (salad with peanut sauce). If you want more, the seller will give you an aluminum box full of slightly stale ones. As you scoop some porridge out with a chip, they make a satisfying crackle. Out of the noise, mostly honking from motor cycles and whistles from angkot,you hear a little mew next to your feet...it's a stray cat looking for scraps.

At a Rumah Makan or warung (food stall) you'll probably see another common type of Kerupuk is the styrofoamy white ones I mentioned before. These look a little like someone took minature versions of the pool noodles you played with as a kid, but curly-cued and glued together to form an oval. A an undipped bite can sometimes taste like pool noodle too. You usually eat these with soup or noodle-soup. My first experience with these was not pleasant: My host family told me "Try Kerupuk!" I sunk my teeth into a dry one and thought is this really food?. Four months since, I can't eat a spicy noodle soup with out a few of these to soaked up the broth and extinguish the burn.

The last type is one I came across in Tegal:Kerupuk Tahu These are fiberous brown domes of crunchy fried tofu that look a little bit like a cross between quisp and shredded wheat. These are my least favorite type and have definitely contributed to my mounting hatred of tofu. Imagine your average shredded wheat cereal, but instead of being sweet and mild, it's salty and tastes strongly of tofu.I first tried this when my family was snacking around a coffee table when someone offered me one of these. I can't remember my initial reaction to the taste, but I do remember coughing. I'd made the mistake of breathing in while chewing and ended up with a throatful of spikey tofu bits. Since then, I've been a bit more savvy about eating them--or avoiding eating them. Every time someone comes over from Tegal, they offer me these little crackers. I end up taking a bite and hiding the rest until I can get a chance to toss it.

Images of Kerupuk: http://www.google.co.id/images?q=kerupuk&um=1&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=677&tbs=isch:1,isz:m&source=lnt&sa=X&ei=5KgQTbG0A87NrQefvqC9Cw&ved=0CAgQpwU

Indonesian Halloween

Halloween is a North American thing. The countries that love it the most all seem to be the US, Canada, and Mexico. Indonesia is not one of them. The only traces of Halloween were a display of Halloween-themed shirts,and an advertisement for a costume party in Jakarta. Anyway, on the the 30th and 31st I had some non-Halloween-related plans. I wanted to go to a Festival celebrating Bali. I went to both the auditions, and the real show, where I saw a costume cooler any mascot costume I have even seen. He came out wearing a mask and dancing the traditional way with shaking hands, but midway through the show he started doing the moon walk. That night I made it my goal (which is yet unfulfilled) to wear that costume because it was just so cool. Anyway, let me get back to my Halloween story.

So I had just come back to ITB after the Bali festival auditions with Agung, and we were planning on seeing the Sherina concert. when I mention that Halloween is tomorrow and that I miss wearing the costumes. Agung points out that there are lots of costumes with his Southern Sulawesi culture club. So we end up turning around and heading into the tiny room for Unit South Sulawesi. Agung picks me out a shiny red shirt with golden embellishments, two golden cuff-bracelets (unfortunately we couldn't find two cuff bracelets that matched), and an uncomfortable statue-of-liberty-type golden crown. He then pulls out a red shirt with a flat-topped hat that is apparently "slavewear". Now remember how Indonesians don't celebrate Halloween? Well, that meant that we were the only ones wearing costumes. We decided to go to a restaurant in Upper Dago (which is at a higher elevation and is beautiful at night since you can look down at all the lights in Bandung). We were being quite crazy and to fit that crazy mood, we cranked up the craziest music on the radio: Radio Dangdut (Dangdut is sort of a cheesy-type of Indonesian pop music with lots of Arabic and Indian influence). When we stopped at a convenience store to buy candy and drinks, I got many more stares than normal. People must have been thinking, "LOOK! a bule! She must be crazy, she's wearing Indonesian clothes!" I just smiled, and laughed with Agung about the situation. At the restaurant, I was able to get mashed potatoes for the first time since I moved here. On the way home I ended up screaming "hello" out the window to all passers-by. While I wasn't able to do any of these things on Halloween, I ended up getting my costume fix for the year on the 30th.

Why More Americans (than just me haha) Should Study Abroad in Indonesia

1. The food is amazing!! Food in Bandung is tasty, from what you get from street vendors to food in the Malls. Even McDonald's and KFC tastes better than the ones in the US. Fancy bakeries are also popular here, not to mention they are quite cheap. High-end steaks cost about $5 USD for local Indonesian beef and $8 USD for fancy imported Australian Beef.
2. There is so much to do. In Bandung there is a festival almost every weekend, so you can't be bored. Plus, it's ok that you can't drive because public transit its easy to find from taxi, to Ojek, to public transit buses.
3. No winter. Always a plus haha.
4. School has a much more relaxed feel than many other places in the world. My school even has a beautiful garden!
5. Its primarily Islamic. Americans would really benefit from learning about Islam, since we are currently at war with Islamic extremists, and it's quite possible we will end up at war with Iran (also Muslim). It's important to realize not all Muslims are like the Taliban or the government in Iran, and Islam in Indonesia is about as far away from that as possible.
6. FREEDOOOOMMMM! You will find a greater degree of Freedom to go and do what you please in Indonesia than in similar countries, like India. Indonesian parents aren't usually too overprotective, so I've ended up having a lot of fun with my friends, even only a month into my stay.
7. Easy language. The precursor to Bahasa Indonesia, Malay, was a trading language, so it has very simple grammar. Indonesia was also a Dutch colony, which means they use our alphabet, and even have a few English cognates. So, you really only have to worry about learning vocabulary, dealing with local-language-words and slang that pop up in conversation, but not in your dictionary.
8. Its American Friendly! Indonesians greatly respect Americans, more so than Europeans. They are thrilled that Barack Obama lived in Indonesia, and most Indonesians either dream of visiting the US, have already visited US or are planning on visiting the US. It's one of the most popular countries to go to on student exchange, partly because the US government gives Indonesians scholarships. Native English speakers (especially Americans) are rare as well, so people love for you to give them English lessons.
9. Similar standards of fun. Indonesians and Americans like to have fun in the same ways. They go to the mall, play in arcades, go swimming, and (I've heard but haven't actually experienced since I live inland) like to surf. They may like to sing karaoke, which isn't too American, but they do it in a more American way—in a private room, which means no public humiliation. The only big difference is that Americans like to stay out later. This hasn't really been much of a problem for me though.
10. Similar standards of modesty. Although Indonesians prefer pants over shorts, sleeves over sleeveless, one-pieces over bikinis, and public nudity is not something you will get arrested for, Indonesians and Americans are pretty similar in this area. You won't find yourself hiding your privates in a public bath where no one else seems to care, or peeing in a bathroom with a large window through which the world can see you like my friend in China. Nor will you get stoned for baring your arms, hair or wearing makeup. Indonesia is not Saudi Arabia: its personal choice to wear a head scarf or not, and in fact, most Indonesian women do not.
11. Rich culture, but with the comforts of the west. Indonesia is not culturally conservative. They are willing to adopt aspects of other cultures that benefit them more than other cultures would. As a result, you can contact all your friends through facebook and on their blackberry while you are eating at KFC or pizza hut. Indonesians haven't lost their traditional culture either. Even in one of the biggest cities in Indonesia, I see things like rice paddies, grazing cows, roosters, and banana and durian trees. I also have plenty of chances to learn traditional dance, instruments, arts and more. Not to mention Indonesians still wear traditional clothing along with western clothing, or a mix of the two, as batik is still considered more formal, and is even printed on western-style clothing.
12. Beauty. Despite the Pollution, ecological damage, and general dirt of Indonesia, it still has beautiful plants, scenery, mountains and anything else. Usually, you only need to travel a little distance out of your way to see a beautifully unique Indonesian scene. Often Europe just looks a lot like the US :(.
13. Indonesia is the 4th largest country in the world and arising economic power. I predict Indonesia is going to become a lot more important to world politics and economics in the future, so it will be important to know something about it. After all, Indonesia is no longer classified as a developing county.

Eliza Gets Lost: The Sequel

My oh my. Yesterday certainly was something. If you don't already know this about me, I love to crochet, so much so that while crocheting at school yesterday, I ran out of yarn. So, I planned a trip to a cafe (Reading Lights) that sells yarn and, in general, has a relaxing atmosphere. At school, I consulted my Angkot-expert friends as to correct route to take. This happened to be the place I got lost trying to get to before by angkot, so I was extra viligilant and even had some schoolmates tell the angkot driver where I was going. Guess what? I still got lost haha. This time I wasn't as far away though, so I just retraced my steps, asked people for the street I was looking for, and I found it. That did me no good because Reading Lights turns out to be closed on Mondays. You can imagine after a 3 or 4 block walk, a sweaty angkot ride, and hours of school, did not want to find out that instead of collapsing into a cushy couch with a drink and a ball of yarn, I had to take another sweaty angkot back to somewhere I knew. None the less, I took a trip to McDonalds (not my favorite place, but I knew where it was haha) and met Ricarda after I ordered two huge pieces of chicken, fries, an ice cream sundae, and a Teh Botol (this means bottled tea, and ironically came in a box that day haha). We ended up taking ojek to a local mall, bought maps, found out 30 minute massages cost about $2 and ate at J. Co (OMG, I LOOOVE THAT PLACE). However, if our way back was a movie, it would be named “Eliza Gets Lost the Sequal: Eliza and Ricarda Get Lost together.” We decide to take the Angkot back to Ricarda's house first, then send me on my angkot. We climb on Ricarda's white angkot and ride for about a half an hour until I think this is taking way too long, this can't be a very direct route. I tell Ricarda and she assures me, it just takes a long time to get to her house from the mall. About ten or twenty minutes later I start seeing landmarks on my route home. “um, Ricarda, I think we're on the wrong angkot because we're closer to my house now than yours.” I tell her. “Oh my god are you sure?! We must have taken the wrong direction!” Ricarda replies. We stop the bus and start walking hoping to find an Ojeg station. It was a good thing that we got lost on this bus and not another because it was already dark and while we eventually found someone who directed Ricarda to the right place, I didn't need directions, since I was close enough I could just hop on my regular bus. On the way home I chatted with another SMAN 3 student almost entirely in Bahasa Indonesia, I was quite proud haha.